i don't even know ...

the last time saige saw her father was september 4th. he's never really been all that interested in her, and his parents have been more steady in her life then he ever has been. this past weekend everything came to a head. saturday afternoon around 3 he talked to saige on the phone and told her he was going to come get her in a while. well, he never showed up, so i was left with a crying heartbroken 5 year old. when i called him he never answered the phone. i finally called his mother to see if she'd heard anything and she hadn't talked to him all day, so he obviously never had any intentions of coming to begin with. now, he's done this before ... he's told me he's taking her or coming for her and never showed up, but he's never told HER. i've always been smart enough to not tell her he's coming until he's actually standing at the door because i never know for sure when he's actually going to come through and show up. the fact that he had the nerve to tell her he was coming and get her all excited and then just not show up or even call .. well thats not ok. i finally left a voicemail the other night telling him exactly what kind of parent i think he is ... which, i guess wasn't mature or the right thing to do but what can i say, i'm only human and i was really upset. now today is wednesday and he still hasn't called me or answered the phone when i've called. what am i supposed to do with this? i can't put saige through that anymore .. it's really not fair to her. the only thing i think i can do at this point is just ...stop calling him. if he doesn't want to be involved he doesn't have to be. i gave him that option from the second i found out i was pregnant with her, but he swore he wanted to be involved. yeah, that worked out well. i feel bad that i've given saige one of these fathers who has better things to do then spend time with their child. i think if i haven't heard from him by this weekend that i'm going to go talk to his parents about it all. i'd never cut them off from seeing her, she loves them too much and they've always been great with her ... but him ... i don't think he'll care much anyway. such a depressing situation.