mr. sandman...bring me a dream...

Lately my sleeping has been WAY out of whack.  I may not have had the best sleep pattern before, but it was always predictable.  Now it's just all over the place.  Before I would fall asleep around midnight.  I would sleep propped up in 2 big pillows and sleep in sweats, a t-shirt, and socks.  Lately I'm alsleep anywhere between 9 pm and 2 am.  Crazy right?  And it's not like i go to bed early on days i'm extra tired.  It could be a day where I haven't really done much of anything, and I can't keep my eyes open past 9.  Also, I can't sleep in my warm comfy clothes anymore.  I'm almost always in shorts and no socks.  now, anyone who knows me knows i HATE being bare footed, so this alone is enough to kind of bother me.  Also I have to sleep on one flat pillow now instead of my giant pile .. i'm finding that when i sleep with two I wake up totally achy in my neck and back.  I've also been told i'm snoring a lot more lately.  Now, that I think I can attribute to my downward spiraling sinus problems, but everything else I'm so confused.  I mean, these obviously aren't huge problems.  i'm still sleeping at night at some point, it's just unusual.  Anyone have any tips/opinions?  I read at night in bed which makes me relaxed and fall asleep pretty easily.  i'm just more concerned as to why my body did this weird temperature/comfortableness flip flop out of nowhere.  Oh the things the body and mind do sometimes...

organization

In an attempt to organize my life, I made myself a chart.  I'm one of those "visual" people who really needs to be able to SEE something to get me to do it.  Otherwise I find myself ignoring what needs to be done and scraping by with the bare minimum .. resulting in me being unhappy with my room and other areas of the house.  I decided to list the task that needed to be done, the date that I should have it completed by, and then a blank to fill in the date of the day it was actually completed.  That way I have to be responsible for what I've done or haven't done.  I'll hate having to write in a date that admits I failed, haha, so hopefully this will keep me motivated.  This whole thing may seem ridiculous to some, but, whatever works right?  What do you guys do to get, and stay organized?

a lot about nothing...

As I write this blog (which has no particular direction it's going in, so I apologize ahead of time for the rambling) it's snowing again.  I've lived in Pennsylvania my entire life, and I remember getting a decent amount of snow when I was a little girl, but in recent years not a whole lot.  This past year?  RIDICULOUS!  I think it's beautiful, but i'm so sick of driving in it!  Tonight is 1-4 inches and then turning to sleet/freezing rain.  Saige already has a 2 hour delay for school tomorrow.  Driving into work at 7 am should be fantastic.  ugh!  Ok, I'm done throwing my temper tantrum now, but enough is enough sheesh.

Anyway ... I should probably update, but I don't really have much to update about.  My weekend was the same as usual.  I had Saige all weekend so I didn't do a whole lot.  Went to the fox like I usually end up doing on Saturday nights.  Ate, hung out, and watched football.  Sunday I grocery shopped in the morning and then did laundry and watched football.  Are we seeing a pattern with my weekend?  haha.  Oh yeah, Friday was my mom's birthday.  I also ended up with bronchitis friday so I stayed home from work and went to the doctors, but later that night myself, Saige, my sister, hinkle, and my mom all went to Maggianos for her birthday dinner.  She had never been, so we took her there.  The food was delicious as always.  After that we all just sat around the house til like 12;30 hanging out and talking.  I just realized I reviewed my weekend from sunday-friday instead of friday-sunday.  interesting, ha.  I blame my nighttime cough syrup :)

I don't think I've got much more to talk about here really.  I should probably go to bed now because I have a feeling tonight may be a long night.  Saige is coughing a lot and that always means no sleep for me! the work of a parent is never done I suppose...goodnight everyone.

dreaming...

This post was inspired by Life as a Jane Doe and her fantastic post about what kind of things she wants to buy for spring! :)

As I looked at all of her really cute things she posted, it got me day dreaming and picturing myself wearing clothes like that.  I can't really wear that stuff now because of my weight.  Well, I mean I could, but it wouldn't be as flattering as if I were less lumpy :)  So, I got more excited and motivated to lose this weight before it gets warm out so I can buy cute stuff this year!  I started looking around online and found some cute stuff that I'm excited to be able to buy (and fit in to) for the upcoming spring season.  Now I just need to lose this weight! :)

Charlotte Russe Bouquet Crochet Back Top

Charlotte Russe Feelin Fancy Lace Top

Charlotte Russe Deep Cowl Neck Top

Abercrombie Natalie Dress

AND! i want to look better in this swim suit!

thats all....thanks for hanging around for my dreaming haha

to do list for the year...starting today

Now, these aren't resolutions.  These are things that I need to do, and WILL do, hopefully sooner than later this year.  If I write them down for all to see, then maybe I'll feel a bit more accountable for them haha.  We'll see.

• GET THIS ROOM CLEAN! and keep it clean!  - I'm such a slob when it comes to my bedroom.  Seriously, you'd think i'm like 15 again or something.  I just never feel motivated to do it.  I start it and then never finish, and then it just gets worse.
• DE-CLUTTER!  this goes with cleaning the room.  stop holding on to stuff I'm never going to use.  This room isn't that big, gotta get rid of the stuff I don't need/use.
• exercise, exercise, exercise - we've been over this, no need to beat a dead horse with a stick
• less computer time, more reading time - also been over this
• less facebook updating.  that sounds stupid, but the other day i went back to the beginning of my facebook (nov 2004 haha) and it took FOREVER, because I update about stupid stuff all the time.  
• come out of my comfort zone.  i started this one already.  Last night I called some old woman about a house for Hinkle.  I used to be terrified of ordering food on the phone so thats huge for me hahhaa.  
• use sunday's to get things done.  Sure, if I don't have Saige I'm going to sleep in, BUT after i wake up I need to get going and get stuff done (I type this as i lay in bed on a sunday at 11 am ..see what I mean? haha)
• make more of an effort to talk to more friends more often.  I talked to like, 3 people on a "regular" basis.  I need to get out there and make more of an effort. 
• keep my car clean!  gosh that thing is a mess.  no matter how hard I try, I destroy it hahaha.  

I'm sure I'm forgetting something, but thats good enough for now.  now it's time to get out of bed and actually do something haha.

day 2...

another day of eating right and exercising under my belt!  i still feel so full with eating all of this food, but i'm doing it haha.  I also decided how i'm going to work on my running.  I'm only running a mile right now.  That doesn't seem like a lot, i know, but hear me out.  I'm running a mile until i get it down to 10 minutes a mile. then i'll start to increase my distance.  i figure if i do that, then i'll be giving my body time to get used to the idea of running and adapting to it, making me more likely to develop back into positive running habits?  who knows, it could be an awful idea, but i'm giving it a shot.  what do you think?

otherwise not much is new really.  my bedroom is being attacked by stink bugs tonight for some reason.  don't they know it's like 30 degrees outside?  geez, go away already, it's january!  work was actually ok today.  i had pretty good help today and that always makes a huge difference.  we'll see how tomorrow goes, i'm sure it will go back to sucking.  it was nice while it lasted.

i'm going to start reading a book tonight.  i go in these spurts where i read all the time, and then i stop.  i want to get in the habit of reading for at least a half an hour each night.  i think i spend entirely too much time on the computer and watching tv.  reading always relaxes me as well, and i've been having some serious trouble falling asleep at night (which lead me to waking up late today, lame) so i'm hoping that reading more will result in me falling asleep easier.  i usually fall asleep with a book in my hand when i read haha, so keep your fingers crossed that it works!

hope everyone's having a great start to their new year!

day one..

I actually ran today!  granted I only did a mile, but i figured if i started out slowly then i'd gradually increase and maybe stick with it better?  who knows.  all i know is i ran a mile.  and my legs are killing me.  and i've never felt so out of shape.  but, i'm going to keep going!  i think i can, i think i can haha.  anyway, yeah so i forgot just how MUCH food you have to eat when you're eating healthy.  im' using my sparkpeople app today to track all of the food i'm eating, and i'm having a snack now because i'm still not up to all the levels i should be at for the day.  i'm not a huge eater so i feel like i might explode.  it's funny how making poor food choices just sets you back so much.  if i would have just kept eating the amount of food that i usually eat, but eat good thing then i wouldn't be in this predicament to begin with.  oh well.  that being said i ate well today and resisted snacking even though my day at work sucked, so i was impressed with myself.  i already made/packed my food for the day tomorrow adn pulled out ground beef for dinner, and i'm planning to get another run in tomorrow, so i'm getting there.  slowly but surely i'm getting there.

back on the horse...

so for the millionth time i'm getting back on the horse with the losing weight mission.  maybe if i make a list of things that i need TO do and things i need to NOT do then i'll have a reminder and stick to it?  i don't know, all i know is that i no longer fit very well in the snow pants i bought in the beginning of the year.  thats awful, time to fix that nonsense! i'm not buying new freggin snowpants! haha.  anyway here we go...

Things I need TO do:

• pack my lunch every day.  that involves actually having to think about my meal and measuring out my food.  i've never really officially measured by serving or whatever, i always just kind of eyeballed it.  maybe this will work better.
• go to the gym every day after work.  there's really no excuse why i can't do that.  i work AT the gym for pete's sake.  If i know i can't get there after work then i need to go on my lunch break.  5 days a week, no excuses.  i'll let the weekend be my "rest" time .. unless i'm feeling especially motivated haha.
• get better sleep.  i don't know why i expect to stay up til 1 am and then feel normal and energetic when i wake up at 5:45.  maybe if i get more sleep at night i'll be more ready to go work out.  
• do more cooking. fast food has become way too common around here ... which attributes to the fat around my waistline that's become way too common as well.  it's not great for saige either, so i need to stop.
• along with cooking comes meal planning.  start planning dinner the night before so it's thawed out and ready to go when i get home from work.    
• use the sparkpeople app on my new itouch (thanks hinkle!) to keep track of what i eat.  also use it for working out when i run (nike+ app).
• don't get discouraged.  it's hard to not be bummed out when not seeing immediate progress.  i think that was one of my big problems before, i was always bummed that it took so long and that i wasn't seeing a change.  the scale said i was changing, but i couldn't SEE it.  i need to be patient with myself and know that change will come if i stick to it, and it will be worth it, i just have to give it time.

Things I need to NOT do:

• don't hot out on snacks.  at work i get so stressed out that i eat everything in sight.  so, until i can find a way to deal with my stress another way (or find a new job) then i need to stop snacking and stick to what i bring with me and only that.
• don't order out all the time.  that crap is terrible for me.  and it's making me look like a weeble.
• don't eat the same stuff every day.  switch it up, so i stand a better chance of not getting bored and not sticking with eating healthy.  
• stop dressing like a teenager.  and i don't mean in a skanky way ..i mean a lazy college teenager.  i've found it easy to hide my fatness behind lots of big baggy hoodies.  no wonder i can't find a man!  maybe if i start dressing a little nicer then i'll be able to see a change more and i'll get some confidence back.  spiraling effect?  lets hope so, cause andrea would love to find a man and get married before she's 40! haha
• and last but certainly not least...DON'T MAKE EXCUSES!  do what you need to do!  (i'm talking to myself here, ha).  you know what needs to be done, so just do it and stop the complaining!  

wish me luck!!!!