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I've opened this a hundred times since my last post, but I've closed it each time not knowing what to say. I hate when i get "blocked" like this. However, I've been nudged to blog so I'm going to do it :)

Where to start ... lets see. It's now Sunday night at 10:30 and I just ate my first "meal" since friday evening. When I say meal, i really just mean I had a cheese stick and some pretzels. What a weekend it's been. Friday night I went out to dinner at Lonestar with Stacie and Saige (as a belated birthday present for Stacie's birthday, which was Monday). After dinner all was well until around 11:00. I was laying in bed reading a book and my stomach started feeling very uncomfortable. Uncomfortable quickly changed to crampy, which quickly changed to feeling beyond sick. I spent the next 10 hours in the bathroom getting sick. When i say sick, I mean I just couldn't stop. It got so bad that I was dry heaving because I had nothing left to throw up but my body still felt like it needed to take that action. It was a terrible night. I was chalking it up to being sick from the steak I ate at dinner, but then a parent from work commented on my facebook telling me that her daughter started throwing up around 9:00 that same night. That same little girl insisted on giving me "goodbye kisses" before i left work that night (she's 2, love her), so thats obviously where it came from, because her mom ended up with the same thing the next day. Apparently Stacie ended up sick at 5:30 am saturday with the same thing, so we're figuring she got it from the little girl she carries around a lot at work who had it on thursday, because her father is sick today (co-worker). I felt a little better knowing it wasn't food poisoning of ecoli, but I was just praying for it to be over. I finally stopped getting sick around 9 am, but I was freaking out because saige had to be at tball by 9:45. Normally I would have just had her skip it, but of course it had to be picture day AND I was snack mom, so there was no way i couldn't go. I was practically in tears trying to figure out how I was going to make it through the next hour and a half outside, when my mother saved the day by telling me she'd heard me up during the night and had cancelled her plans to take saige to t-ball for me. Talk about a life saver. After tball was over my mom drove her to her other grandparents house for the night, who thankfully were already planning on taking her for the night, so I just laid in bed for the next 10 hours. After I stopped getting sick, the tail end of the bug kicked in which apparently is awful body aches and a fever. So i dealt with that until around 9:00 that night and I finally felt better. Around 7 I had attempted my first "food" of the day, which was a handful of dry plain cheerios. Those stayed down but didn't feel that great so I didn't push it any further with more food. Around 10 I decided since i felt better that I needed to get out of the house and get some air, so I met hinkle at the sly fox. Probably not my best idea, but it was alright. I sat there less then 2 hours, sipping on water (because I couldn't even handle my diet coke that I usually drink 10 of while i'm there) and then called it a night.

Thankfully today, sunday, I woke up feeling much better. I took it pretty easy for the first half of today. I finished my book ("safe haven" by nicholas sparks, good book) and watched some jersey shore reruns (grenade grundle chodes, bahahah, it just never gets old) and then I did some shopping (kmart and the dollar store) and came back to tackle this DISASTER of a bedroom. When I say disaster, I don't necessarily mean there's trash everywhere and stuff, it's just clothes clothes and more CLOTHES. and most of them are saige's, so thats even more frustrating haha. I decided last week that I'm having a yard sale this coming saturday so I started sorting and pricing everything. It doesn't look like I did much, but I really did accomplish a lot for once. In between all of that, Saige and I did her homework project (she had to make a number book, she used an ocean theme, it was cute) and then she watched the new tinkerbell movie.

Saige herself had a good weekend. She went to the grandparents house and then her father actually decided to spend the day/night with her. They went to a fall festival at her grandmother's school and then they cooked out for dinner and then saige, her cousin, and her father "camped" out in a tent in the backyard for the night. He said her cousin went inside around midnight because she woke up and wanted to go inside, and then Saige made it until 2:30 until she decided she was over it and woke up and wanted a real bed haha. Today they went to one of those home depot kid workshops where she build a wooden sailboat and got a cute apron and stuff. She came home around 5. I'm glad she had a good weekend, she definitely deserves it after last weekend. I'd like to think that he'll keep this up, but I'm not holding my breath. I guess we'll see what happens.

Well, this blog got crazy long! it's almost 11:00 so I should probably get ready for bed. Get to start another wonderful week at work tomorrow morning. keep your fingers crossed that the stomach bug doesn't come back and hit me a second time, it's flying around work (obviously) and I know a little girl who's had it twice in the past 3 days so apparently you can get it again. UGH, awful.

i don't even know ...

the last time saige saw her father was september 4th. he's never really been all that interested in her, and his parents have been more steady in her life then he ever has been. this past weekend everything came to a head. saturday afternoon around 3 he talked to saige on the phone and told her he was going to come get her in a while. well, he never showed up, so i was left with a crying heartbroken 5 year old. when i called him he never answered the phone. i finally called his mother to see if she'd heard anything and she hadn't talked to him all day, so he obviously never had any intentions of coming to begin with. now, he's done this before ... he's told me he's taking her or coming for her and never showed up, but he's never told HER. i've always been smart enough to not tell her he's coming until he's actually standing at the door because i never know for sure when he's actually going to come through and show up. the fact that he had the nerve to tell her he was coming and get her all excited and then just not show up or even call .. well thats not ok. i finally left a voicemail the other night telling him exactly what kind of parent i think he is ... which, i guess wasn't mature or the right thing to do but what can i say, i'm only human and i was really upset. now today is wednesday and he still hasn't called me or answered the phone when i've called. what am i supposed to do with this? i can't put saige through that anymore .. it's really not fair to her. the only thing i think i can do at this point is just ...stop calling him. if he doesn't want to be involved he doesn't have to be. i gave him that option from the second i found out i was pregnant with her, but he swore he wanted to be involved. yeah, that worked out well. i feel bad that i've given saige one of these fathers who has better things to do then spend time with their child. i think if i haven't heard from him by this weekend that i'm going to go talk to his parents about it all. i'd never cut them off from seeing her, she loves them too much and they've always been great with her ... but him ... i don't think he'll care much anyway. such a depressing situation.

what to do ...

...when you feel like your job is just going nowhere or going more downhill each day? what a slump. i wish i could find something else. i've been looking, but so far nothing's jumped out at me as something i should be doing. i wish i'd finished college, but i'll get there eventually. one thing at a time i suppose. my friends say i should write a book ... maybe i should haha. i don't really know what i'd write about, but it's fun to dream right? while we're already dreaming, lets dream about winning millions of dollars in the lottery ..that would be ideal right now. i hate stress.

miserable...

I've been feeling not so hot off and on throughout the past weekend. Nothing major, a little nauseous here and there so I took it kind of easy this weekend (not that I really do much anyway, ha). saturday i dropped saige off at her grandparents house, then went school shopping for her. had lunch with both of my parents (which was weird because we haven't done that in, oh, 11 years, since they've been separated since 1999) then came home and laid around. I went over to hinkle's house around 6, sat on the couch and passed out til about 7, took him to the fox then went back to my house and laid around some more. I picked him up around 10:30, dropped him at his house and went back to bed at my house. Still didn't feel that great but eventually fell asleep. Sunday i woke up feeling ok. I went to breakfast with jessica at irish joe's downtown and then we went to see Vampires Suck. Really enjoyed the movie, as a twilight diehard it was funny to see them making fun of it haha. After that I came home to a surprise visit from the comcast guy who was apparently scheduled to put in a house line that I had no idea about. At least he was pleasant and attractive to look at haha. After that Saige came home and we sat around for a few hours until we went to king of prussia to meet up with bryan and his mom at friday's for dinner. had a nice time there, it's always nice to see him, and I haven't seen his mom in a few years so that was nice. Came home, got saige to bed, watched true blood, got aggravated with a few things and went to bed. At bedtime my stomach was feeling a little weird again, but nothing major. 4:00 this morning I sit straight up out of a sound sleep and run to the bathroom. my stomach was hurting SO bad, and it's been a consistent hurt/cramp/sick feeling ever since. I guess whatever this bug was finally decided to totally show itself. So now i'm laying in bed praying it goes away soon because I HATE when my stomach hurts. Saige insisted on going to school because I'm way boring to stay home with I guess, so at least she's enjoying herself. I'd rather her not get this anyway so she's probably better off there for the day. Of course it's beautiful outside today too. what a waste of a nice monday.

saige through the years...

so as I've mentioned before, a ton of times, I can't wrap my head around the fact that Saige is now 5 years old and starting kindergarten in a week. I thought it would be fun to post a picture of saige for each year, including birth, and see how she changed .... so, thats what i'm going to do!

8-8-05 right after she was born


1st birthday


2


3


4


and finally, 5


time sure does fly ♥

a little bit of this and that ...

I don't really have much of substance to write about, I just really felt like writing a little bit, so bare with me here.

Is it friday yet? Geez what a week. Settling back into the usual routine back at home after vacation has proved to be harder then expected. Even Saige is having a hard time adjusting to being home, which is rare for her to have a hard time adjusting to anything at all. Work is crazy, but that's an every day thing. I keep thinking maybe it will become a little less stressful, even just for a day, but so far after 8 years that still haven't proved to be true. A girl can hope right?

Nothing has really happened at all this week besides going back to work. My car had issues, big surprise there. The battery kept randomly draining, but we unplugged my ipod docker and jumped it and so far it's held a charge fine since then. Hopefully it will stay ok, that battery isn't even a year old yet and I don't feel like buying another one.

I've decided I want to expand my hobbies ... because I really don't have any. That probably sounds kind of lame, but I really don't. I watch tv and movies, I read ... and thats about it. I don't have like a HOBBY hobby. I think I want to get into photo editing but I'm not sure. I downloaded the new photoshop and have enjoyed messing around with it so far. I'm considering purchasing the whole thing once my trial is over, but we'll see. I need to get back to exercising but I feel like once I start and get a steady routine of it going, something happens that throws it all out of whack and I have to start from scratch. I should start walking at night or something. Any ideas?

Well, I think thats a random enough entry for now ... I've gotta get saige ready for bed (thats always a good time). Tomorrow is friday, yay!

our stay at the house of mouse...

I just got back yesterday from a week long vacation in disney world! well, we stayed at a house outside of disney, but it still counts haha. the house was nice ... except for the world's most uncomfortable mattress that we're sure was from the 1970's on the bed haha. the house was a little crowded but it was ok. Otherwise it was a blast! trish, saige and I had 5 day park hopper passes and we definitely used all 5 days. We saw lots of shows, and I got to go on space mountain (which i loved!). We were there for saige's 5th birthday on the 8th, so we got her all dolled up at the bibbidi bobbidi boutique (she dressed as belle) and then went to lunch at cinderella's round table in the castle for a lunch with the princesses. The food was DELICIOUS and the whole experience was really neat. She got to meet all of the princesses there and have her pictures taken with them all. Throughout the week she met a lot of characters and had them all sign her little autograph book. We went to a few of the parades throughout the week. The electrical parade was the coolest! And the fireworks over the castle were beautiful! that was definitely one of my favorite parts of disney. We went to all of the parks (epcot, mgm, animal kingdom, and magic kingdom) but the magic kingdom was our favorite. I enjoyed the countries at epcot .. got some gelato from "italy" that was to die for hah. we ate at the rainforest cafe outside of animal kindgom one night. that was fun, I had never been there before. saige was afraid of the animals when they started making noise though haha. it's pretty hard to sum up the entire week because we did so much, but it was a great vacation. I could never live there though, too humid and I couldn't deal with all of the random rainstorms all week haha. I'm thankful that trish, cait, and dan came with us, that defintely added to the fun. I'll leave you with a few pictures and I'm sure I'll add to this as I remember more, I just wanted to jot some stuff down quickly while I was thinking about doing it.